My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
