I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
