yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It's just like the Real World with babies
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
