That's when you crack a 10am beer
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
