He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
