I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
