I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize