so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
