Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
