He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
