ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
