I heard we made out
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
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I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
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