I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize