i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
