Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
