You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
her vagine was all disorganized.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
