You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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