A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
