never play flip cup with pint glasses
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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