I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
