Kareoke will never be a sober sport
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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