Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
