I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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