he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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