Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
