if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I love having hate sex.
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She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
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last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Who put my cat in the fridge?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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