If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize