You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
