Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
