Don't make out with my wife yet
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
