I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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