And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
