batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
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Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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