I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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