shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
high people should be assigned attendants
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
dude. I can hear the air.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
