What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
