Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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