The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm jealous of your bromance
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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