She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
