we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
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I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
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First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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