can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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