"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Randomize
