he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
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If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
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Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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