after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
