Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
