I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
