every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize