Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
