I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
