I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
