im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
