gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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