What a fucking waste of an outfit
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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