whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
