I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
