I need to stop coming to work sober
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
it's like iHOP with fire
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
This is my gift to your gina
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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