You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
